78. Helping Addicts Empathize with Carol Juergensen Sheets

Over all this was a great episode. I agree with 99% of what was said. The one thing I’ve found on my 5 year journey is that when an addict says “my wife still doesn’t trust me” or “my wife won’t let go of her trauma” or something like this, it often shows that the husband is being covert about his abuse. After abusing your spouse in subtle ways for 28 years, it is not ok to think your betrayed spouse is going to welcome you with open arms on all levels after a year of sobriety or even after a few years of half hearted recovery. Sobriety does not equal recovery. Recovery does not equal connection. Connection takes great effort, consistency and intentionality. This is something addicts really struggle with. Covert abuse is extremely  damaging and it often continues even after the addict is sober and in some type of “recovery.”  I know this because I have experienced it. It’s awful and has done so much damage. My coach said it was like I was driving both of us to the hospital but my spouse was quietly poking my hand with a fork all the way there. Maybe you could do a podcast on this very thing. I think many betrayed spouses have experienced this. It’s not just me 😊

this a great podcast. I was not aware.